Tomorrow is my 21st birthday… I would appreciate not receiving any happy birthdays.. the reason is that I don’t believe that a me that has spent 7671 days on this earth.. is more wise than a me who spent 7670 days on it. My maturity and my wisdom (the little I have, perhaps) has come from moments in my life that do not come on planned dates, and rather that surprise me. It is how I
I think my earliest memory is a dream. and in the dream I’m riding a train. but I know that I’m not just riding this train, which is kind of curving around the edge of a cliff and there’s a river at the bottom of it. I know that I’m also at the bottom of the river looking up and watching myself ride the train. I’m also seeing the train from above. I’m seeing it just like a movie. I feel like I’m watching myself go somewhere beautiful.
I keep these sets of images from childhood, or maybe from life really, so that I can retreat to them when I’m trying to pick up the pieces. I think a lot of the time, I am perceiving myself through the eyes of being haunted by ghosts that are both my own and maybe real. it’s an atmosphere that you can almost enter, as if it were a haunted house of someone else’s memories. both spooky and sweet. like a haunted train ride through the woods or a vision from underwater.